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The shower that I really needed to have

I am pretty sure that everyone knows the phrase “the straw that broke the camel’s back”, well for me the phrase should read “the shower that broke me!” or more accurately, “the shower that I didn’t get to enjoy broke the last semblance of sanity left!”

Sneezing woke me up this morning, endless sneezing.  Rather than stay in bed and wake boy-child completely (he stirred enough to lean out of bed to investigate whatever monster was lurking under the bed!) I decided to continue my sneezing alone, downstairs.  It was before 6am and still dark.  Instead of sitting alone being annoyed that I was awake and that I was sneezing, I decided to make the most of the morning and start on creating the new me – the one who is determined to regain some semblance of fit and healthy.  I pulled on a pair of trekking shoes, only because my runners were no where to be seen, and headed out for Day 1 of the C25K program.

It was cold, I was still sneezy but I felt great for getting out there.  Sure my body was protesting at the cold and my head was imagining I was anywhere else but I was proud to make that first important step to making a real change.  In fact I was so pumped by it I even posted words to that effect on Facebook, in a group that I have been lurking in for a while now…

Enough is enough. Today I really start learning how to move again, starting with the c25k challenge. To get things in to perspective – it has been so long since I have been running that I have no idea where my runners are. Instead of this stopping me, I pulled on my trekking shoes and hit the streets. My body is in a state of shock, my head is all over the shop but I have started. Happy Monday Movers 🙂

I enjoyed the quiet of the morning and the stillness of the house.  I could ignore the headache that never disappears.  I was looking forward to a great day.  School lunches made, and kids only just waking, with an hour before we were required to leave for the back to school madness.  It was the perfect time to go and have a shower.  Of course the best laid plans get thrown out the window when as I go to enter the bathroom I hear, “Oh, there may not be too much hot water left!”

Seriously.  Are you the only f*cking person in this house?  Your actions would certainly indicate so!

Instead of yelling and screaming about how freaking selfish he was.  I threw my clothes on, over a post run sweaty body and stormed off downstairs.  I was so pissed at not having that 5 minutes of luxury that I couldn’t see past it.  I got downstairs and everything just drove me nuts.

The fact that I didn’t get time to do any grocery shopping meaning that meals this week will be made from the little bits of whatever that happens to be in the fridge or freezer.  The fact that I was making dinner for tonight this morning.  The fact that today is just another crap day that can surely only get better.

Moral to the story – don’t get between me and my desire for a shower OR stop being a selfish asshat, your actions and inactions have an impact on others!

 

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Big Issues in a Little Body

There is always something about the behaviour of my kids that has me freaking out.  It might be a period of being untruthful, or perhaps being melancholy or even being more unruly than ever, whatever it is, it generally passes fairly quickly and whilst the mummy-guilt might kick in and I might stress about the behaviour for a few seconds (or even minutes) I know that everything will work out.  I generally don’t make a big deal about it, instead trying to chat with the kids about possible issues without being confrontational.  I know that together we can work it out and until now that has generally been the case.  Sure we did go through a particularly rough patch last year with the boy at school, bullying and his intense dislike of his teacher and of school in general, but it all worked out and he currently loves going to school.  All was well with the world.

The relaxed approach is the way I like to get things done and it seems to work for us, until now.  I have to admit that I have been freaking out by my girl’s behaviour and attitude lately and what is scaring me most of all is that she is a smaller version of me.  Not the me that I was when I was also 7 but more like the me that I am now.  You see, my beautiful little girl isn’t eating much.  Now this may be normal in many households but not around here.  Both of my monsters eat like, well, like monsters.  Breakfast is always eaten, and can range from a tin of baked beans (a full regular sized tin, not one of those kiddie ones, straight from the can) to 3 slices of toast on a typical day (more for the boy), a huge bowl of porridge if I have had time to make some or even a bowl of pasta if there is any left over from dinner.  Breakfast around here is sizeable, often larger than dinner and on many occasions it is eaten over a few sittings.

Now one would think that with such a large breakfast, perhaps lunch wouldn’t be a big thing but a typical lunch is 1 1/2 rounds of sandwiches, an apple, a mandarin (or banana if they are affordable!), a row of crackers, some cherry tomatoes and a piece of cheese and most of it would be eaten most days.  Sure both kids have had phases of not being hungry at school and being too busy to make time to eat, but it doesn’t last long, and never for more than a week.  Then on the days of not eating much lunch at school, they would clean out the pantry when they got home from school.  Hell, most days even if they have eaten all of their lunch, they clean out the pantry after school and still eat dinner!

Dinner is pretty relaxed, we go for the self serve option.  I pile everything onto the table and they serve themselves.  The boy prefers to eat his food in stages (just like me), eating the meat first, followed by each vegetable individually.  The only real ‘rule’ is that their dinner has to be colourful, they can’t just eat food of one colour otherwise they would both fight over eating the pumpkin or the broccoli!  I find that by doing the self serve dinner, we all eat well and we don’t waste much.  It also makes it easy that I can cook too many vegies and have left overs ready to accompany dinner the following day.  It works for us and as a family we generally eat really well (that doesn’t count tonight when we had fish and chips!)

Anyway, now that I have set the scene for what is normal for around here, let me explain my concerns.  Girl-child has lost her appetite and hasn’t been eating as much as she normally would.  School lunches come home barely touched and not wanting to eat much after school.  She is constantly ‘not hungry’ and in fact makes excuses for why she doesn’t eat.  This morning she actually lied about eating breakfast before we were out of bed to avoid eating.  Over this last week, words like “but I’m not hungry”, or “I am full” (when a meal was barely started) have become normal.  Even “Mummy, I’ve got a tummy ache” seems to be heard around meal time as an excuse for her to be excused from meals.   I don’t want to make a big deal of it just yet but it is scaring me.  As a family we are conscious of what we eat.  We talk about eating food that gives us the energy that we need to do all the fun things that we love to do.  We talk about eating a variety of food and generally meal times are a breeze.  We have been lucky to not have fussy eaters and love trying different cuisines with family favourites being Yemeni, Malaysian and Ethiopian.  Now that it has all changed, I am struggling to know what to do.  Admittedly my eating habits leave a lot to be desired.  Sure I blame getting sick last year and the medical complications I have dealt with since then but it is really hard to set a positive example when I physically can’t.  She watched me sit at the table not eating and listened to me explain why I couldn’t eat in the lead up to my procedures.  She saw me struggling with having to fast and drink the horrible pre-procedure preparations.  I have even explained that it was my lack of appetite that led to me having to go to hospital to have cameras put into my stomach to make sure it was OK.  She seems to have understood this but it hasn’t made a difference.

Adding to all of this, we have many friends who are fasting for Ramadan so she is also aware of the concept of fasting for religious reasons as well as for medical reasons.  She has asked if it is OK for her to fast even if she isn’t Muslim, knowing that I fast at least once during Ramadan when I am going to celebrate Iftar with colleagues.  It is difficult to explain that by fasting I am trying to learn the patience and humility and live my life, if only for one day, in someone else’s shoes.

I really don’t know what has brought on this change in her.  There hasn’t been any size related issues that we are aware of, she is fit, healthy and generally very happy.  She really doesn’t want to talk about it and when we try to talk she gets all defensive and angry, at times even crying.  It really isn’t normal behaviour for her at all and I don’t know just how to deal with it.  We already eat most meals as a family and I don’t want to make a huge deal of her lack of appetite for fear it makes her retreat further.

I really thought we would get at least close to teen years before this became an issue.  Any suggestions on what to do to promote healthy happy eating?

 
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Posted by on August 20, 2011 in over-share, the monsters, Uncategorized

 

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And in other news…

It is time to take a break, even if just for a few seconds, from all things Kokoda and to live in the now.

I have been back for just over a week and I have been crazy busy.  I had planned to take a day off work when I returned just to get organised before diving back into work but with the flight cancellations and an overnight delay, my day off became a day in transit and I headed straight back to work bright and early the following morning.  I worked all week and half of the weekend too when in actual fact I should have taken time off to let my ankle recover.  In fact I have come back to truckloads of work and what appears to be a tense and dysfunctional office.  I have so much work to do but today I will spend my day in the meeting of doom to look at where our office is going from here, in a work capacity and also in a physical capacity.  Naturally it won’t be a productive meeting because there are too many emotions involved, where changes are being made without consultation and as a result colleagues will be having tantrums because they aren’t getting what they want.

Sure I know change is good and I am ready to change it up but I was hoping to change up life outside of work, to find new passions elsewhere, I I really love my job as it is.  I don’t mind doing the crazy hours and extra shifts because I love what I am doing and I believe in what I am doing.  It also helps that my current location is convenient for me to get to and I don’t waste hours each day commuting.  If all of that changes, I don’t know how much longer I will want to stick around.

Of course, work stuff aside, things in the house of superRelish are crazier than ever with more activities to be juggled so my week of after school madness now look like this.

Monday – football clinics for the boy and hip-hop for the girl, fortunately at the same location

Tuesday – ice hockey

Wednesday – work late to enable an early finish of a Friday

Thursday – work later and take the girl to soccer training

Friday – circus class for both monsters

Saturday – ice skating

Sunday – soccer match

On top of this I have to squeeze in more physio sessions for the ankle of dodgyness and also make time to do more of the strengthening exercises so my ankle doesn’t dislocate again – big priority!

And here I am thinking that I would find some time to do something for me.  Oh wait I am – uni is back so somehow I have to work out when I will study too!  Luckily man-child had an uber productive weekend and prepared heaps of food to eat for dinners this week so it is one less thing I need to think about.

Whilst I am on a ranty roll – in the excitement of heading to Kokoda, I stuffed up the dates of my work obligations and didn’t buy a ticket to Blogopolis thinking that I would be working.  Well it turns out I am working on Sunday not Saturday so now I have no plans but I also have no ticket.  It looks like I will be having a pity party all of my own, unless of course you know of someone who can’t attend and wants to sell their ticket!

Maybe thinking all these thoughts is what kept me in the land of insomnia last night?  I gave in at 4.40am and checked what time it was, hoping that it was almost time to get up as I knew sleep was far far away.  Now that it is just after 7 and time to think about heading to work I am starting to get tired.  Hopefully everyone in the meeting of doom will be so peeved off that I will be able to either edit photos on the laptop or use Twitter to keep me distracted and entertained.

Now that I have had my rant, I need to be honest – living in the memories of the fun of the jungle is much better than the madness that is my now, excuse me if I just go and hide in some photos for a while longer…

 
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Posted by on July 27, 2011 in all about me

 

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(ir)responsible Parenting

This has been sitting in my draft folder for a few months.  I wasn’t happy with the way the post read, so it has just been sitting there.  The scenario came up in conversation yet again today so I revisited the draft.  I’m still not sure it conveys what I need/want the post to say; that I support man-child and his decision to keep himself and boy-child safe even if it did mean offending friends, but I figure it was worth posting anyway.

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Recently man-child and boy-child went to a wrestling event in the city with another friend and his son.  Girl-child was at a friends house for the afternoon and when I went to pick her up they had dinner waiting for us as they knew we would be home alone for the night.  Man-child was planning on driving to the wrestling (crappy weather and a super late night with school the following day isn’t conducive to public transport with kids) but I had the car.  I could have dropped the car to him and walked back to get girl-child but figured that as he was going with a friend who has 2 cars then they could go in his car this time.  No hassles, right?  Wrong, very wrong.  The friend had been at a birthday lunch all day and had been drinking so man-child asked if he could drive them and that wasn’t a problem, the made it to the show safely with plenty of time to spare.

When the show ended the friend asked for the keys back to drive home, man-child refused saying that he wasn’t safe to drive.  If he insisted on driving they wouldn’t get in the car with him, that if he (the friend) was going to drive then man-child and boy-child would catch a cab home.  Apparently, from both accounts, things got pretty heated and uncomfortable but the friend relented and let him drive everyone home.  Naturally man-child was pretty pissed that a friend could be so arrogant and stupid to want to drive home when possibly still over 0.05.  As a side issue, the friend kept falling asleep during the show (apparently it wasn’t very entertaining by his account), he has trouble with authority and following laws and rules that he doesn’t agree with and add to this a history of driving when he probably shouldn’t.  I copped the rant when I got home about how some people could be so socially irresponsible by contemplating drinking and driving yet felt comfortable in the knowledge that my man-child wouldn’t allow our children to travel with anyone who has been drinking.  He was concerned about the messages that were being given out to both kids at the time, with one believing that it is OK to take risks and drive when possibly/probably intoxicated and another not willing to compromise at all – which message would be retained by the easily influenced boys?

After talking to boy-child about his evening and how much fun he had, we checked if he was aware of the risks of drink driving and it appears that he still thinks it is not cool to do.  However we could see that his opinion could be influenced simply by talking about the entertainment of the night – he didn’t know if he should be excited by the show like dad or kind of bored by it as the other boy was when he emulated his fathers opinion.  We don’t know what the other child’s view of drink driving is, but we suspect he would be influenced by his father just as boy-child is influenced by his father and this is what we find difficult – this boy is a friend of boy-child and likely to be someone that will get a car at the earliest opportunity and take unnecessary driving risks.

I really shouldn’t try to for-see so far into the future as the friend has just dropped by to let me know ‘his side of the story’.  He claims that he didn’t have too much to drink, perhaps he was over the limit at the start of the evening but not at the end so he should have been fine to drive.  He believes that no person has the right to not allow him to drive his car in any circumstances.  He agrees that you can provide your opinion on whether a person is safe to drive but not actually prevent them from doing so.  He doesn’t understand that a friend would actually want to keep another friend safe and not want them to hurt themselves or another person by their actions.  He doesn’t understand that even if man-child had taken boy-child home in a cab that he would still feel responsible if anything had happened to him and his son on the way home, believing that you can’t be responsible for another person’s actions.  He also didn’t get that the concern not just about his level of intoxication but about his fatigue after falling asleep a number of times during the show.

Essentially the friend doesn’t get that a person can feel responsible for their own in-action that then may cause trouble for others.  I would never allow my children to travel with someone unsafe to drive and am proud that man-child has the strength to ensure that doesn’t happen either.  I hope that I would be as strong as man-child in his convictions about not letting a friend drive also.  I hate that perhaps I could be that person, the person who doesn’t have the strength to prevent another person from doing something dangerous and illegal.  I would never allow my family to get into the car, but would I stop anyone else?  I just don’t know.   I hate that I am such a non-committal person and try not to get into other peoples arguements and issues.  I did say that I supported man-child and his actions but I don’t think I said it with the conviction that I believe.

I am sure that the moment wasn’t handled with tact – 2 very strong egos competing and not wanting to lose face but essentially it should come down to doing what is safe for all involved.  If there is a chance, even a small chance that a person isn’t fit to drive, then they shouldn’t drive.  Unfortunately the incident seems to have tainted the relationship with the two families.  We don’t have the same pop-in just for a chat rate that we had a few months ago.  I don’t know if it a direct result of the ego clashing or if it is simply the cold Melbourne weather.  I am hoping that it is the weather but afraid that it may not be, I guess only time will tell.

Well months later, time is telling.  The boys are still friends and have spent many days together during the holidays, as for the grownups that is another story entirely.  The men folk have a very strained relationship, not only that, his wife seems to be annoyed at both men and I am an outsider because I don’t drink these days so I just can’t possibly understand.

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2011 in things that make you go grrr

 

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RSVPing

What is RSVP?  If you look at yourdictionary.com it states

Origin: Fr abbrev. of répondez s’il vous plaît – please reply

It is pretty simple, if you are sent an invite that has RSVP on it, reply damn it!

The reason for my rant is twofold.  Firstly we are having a Grand Final Day Shindig at our place (again) this year.  It is the 16th time we have had the shindig and it is pretty informal, we provide snags, salads, snacks and some drinks and guests bring any fancy-schmancy stuff that they may want to eat or drink or share with anyone else that turns up.  It isn’t a big deal, but we do need to cater somewhat appropriately, do we buy 2 kilo of snags or 20 kilos?  Last year there were about 50 people here and that is a lot of sausages and salads if only 5 people turn up.

Anyway, the email invite went out a week or so ago asking for a simple reply to let us know who would be attending.  30 or so emails went out and all of 3 replies were given.  Perhaps we needed to change or approach?  Let’s add an event on Facebook and invite everyone again.  That seemed far too logical and easy; everyone is on Facebook and regularly checks in, it really shouldn’t be too hard to click on one simple little Yes, No or Maybe button.  Well apparently we were wrong again.  Let’s look at the stats – 51 invites sent via Facebook, 9 are attending, 7 aren’t attending (gotta love inviting friends overseas to come visit for the day!), there are 4 maybes and a whopping 31 who haven’t bothered to reply at all.  Now it isn’t that hard, I know that the majority of those 31 have seen the invite as they are constantly commenting on other guff on Facebook, why can’t they click on a damn button, ANY button, it isn’t that bloody hard.

So with 31 people not responding, add in partners and kids and before we know it we have another potential 60 or 70 people who may or may not turn up on Saturday.  That should make for an interesting event to plan for!

So that is the first RSVP saga that is driving me nuts.  The second was for an event through work today.  I tried the email invite but had no luck with responses so I decide so I would go all old school and actually ask people, in person at a dinner last week.  That proved a little more successful, over half of the people I spoke to said they would be there, and most of the rest said they would get back to me.  I was feeling pretty good about that, but being a slight control-freak, I wanted to double check so I posted an event on Facebook.  This was a smaller event and the stats just before the event read Yes 3, No 4, Maybe 8 and no relpy from another 8.  Now those stats were vastly different from the earlier discussions but I figured hoped that half, or even some of the maybes and no replies would actually turn up.

Do you know what happened in reality?  Yes became 4 and the rest were no-shows.  Now I know it is school holidays and there is heaps happening but again, how hard is it to let people know if things change?  I mean many of the pikers were online and posting until all hours of the morning, perhaps a contributing factor in their lack of attendance?  In all of that time spent online, surely they could have left a note, message or a simple wall post.  Hell, with all of the other posting and commenting on Facebook, they could have pressed the damn NO button!

OK, that is the end of my ranty rage, for now at least.  Fingers crossed the RSVP list for Saturday will be updated to reflect what is likely to happen on Saturday but I am thinking that isn’t terribly likely.  Is the simple concept of RSVP from a bygone era or is it simply the circles in which I am involved?  Do I just need to get over the whole control freak concept?

 
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Posted by on September 22, 2010 in randomness

 

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Playing the Game

Well we survived the three way conferences at school but they didn’t pan out the way that we had hoped.  In fact, I walked out feeling annoyed at myself for playing the game.  It was apparent quite early in the 15 minutes we had allocated that this wasn’t the time or place to discuss boy-child’s fit in the classroom.  I felt like we were being talked at and not too.  Any positive comments were hidden in negatives and boy-child spent most of the time nervously picking at his hands or the edge of the table whilst he was being grilled.  It was as if he was sitting in an interrogation room.

I guess it is important to note that I felt even more intimidated in the classroom than I expected.  Boy-child’s key teacher is loud and abrasive even when she is just talking, her co-teacher even appeared intimidated by her.  We did discuss a few strategies to help him in the classroom but essentially both man-child and I walked out after the conference thinking that he won’t be any more supported.  I got the overwhelming feeling that this class will show him how to conform and be fitted neatly into a tidy little package rather than develop who he really is.  Even during the conference boy-child was told that he needed to play the game, to just do what he had to do in class even if he didn’t like it.  I was looking more for discussion about how to get him excited about doing classwork.  Hell I would even be happy if his motivation for doing classwork would be less time to do fun things but there appears to be no consequence of not doing work.  Sure he got a crappy grade but realistically, what kind of motivation is a crappy grade for an 8 year old?

I am disappointed in my lack of participation throughout the conference other than supporting boy-child.  I would like to think that it was because I could see that it wasn’t the best time to talk and not because I didn’t have the balls.  Ideally we need to meet with the teachers again to talk about strategies that we can research and test to get him more motivated in the classroom.  This would be best done when the teachers can have more time to prepare specifically for us and our needs and not on churning through every student in the class in a day.  In the meantime we will do some research into ways that we can best support boy-child in his learning without piling too much pressure on him.  Despite what his report says, I know he is an intelligent boy with no motivation to participate.  I think he will learn more out of the classroom this year than he will learn in the classroom.

I really don’t want to spend too much time dwelling on the lack of resolution from the conference only to say that I didn’t find the experience or the classroom environment very positive.  Fortunately it was the polar opposite when we walked into the conference for girl-child.  Her teacher was so positive about the classroom environment and actually listened to what we had to say.  She even picked up on the subtleties of the conversation when we were discussing areas of improvement she was able to suggest areas that boy-child can support her learning.  He wasn’t a part of the conversation but it was important for girl-child to know that her brother is intelligent and articulate and can support her at school too.

I feel that girl-child would survive and even thrive in almost any classroom environment, she is a people pleaser and is able to please people because she has a desire to learn and grow without constant encouragement.  Boy-child on the other hand needs to be in an environment that inspires him, that makes him want to learn again.  I hope that we can help him find some passion to want to learn again, I don’t want him to survive just by playing the game, I don’t enjoy just playing the game and he can’t enjoy it either.

 
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Posted by on June 21, 2010 in the monsters

 

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Not a School Day

I am sitting at home today, wishing selfishly that I could enjoy a fun day at home with the kids but instead I am trying to supervise boy-child with his homework whilst keeping girl-child occupied and not distracting the boy.  It is not so much fun as he is very easily distracted.  The kids are home today, not because I felt that they could do with a day of school to save everyone’s sanity but because it is a student free day with three-way conferences to discuss the progress of the students with the teacher.  I am not looking forward to the conference for more many reasons, one being that I think I am intimidated and disappointed in the boy’s teacher.  I know that is a fairly strong statement but let me explain.

Each day, usually on the way home from school and again as we have dinner we talk about our day; what we have done, what we have enjoyed and what we could have done better.  Often the discussion will focus on social relationships more than actual school work to try and combat the underlying bullying issues that boy-child has experienced.  He isn’t the most communicative of kids, perhaps that is something that he gets from me but we seem to be getting by.  Over the past month, things have been starting to change.  On a number of occasions, the boy-child has begun qualifying his statements with “I want to tell you something but please don’t get angry…”  This is usually followed by a statement of something that is happening in class rather than at school in general.

One of the most concerning statements was that he sits on a table in the class all by himself.  The class have set seats for a week or two and are then moved to different seats and working group.  We assumed that everyone had a turn at sitting on their own so we weren’t overly concerned.  We followed up the chat with him last week, asking him who he was sitting with and he said that everyone else had swapped seats but he was still on his own.  It seems that he isn’t included in this revolving seating arrangement because he is a trouble maker and his behaviour is so distracting that he can’t sit next to any other students.  Now it seems to me that if a child’s behaviour is so difficult then perhaps it is time to speak with the parents to discuss their behaviour.   He is adamant that we don’t go to school to make an issue of where he is sitting and we were happy to follow his lead knowing that we had the conference coming up.

Another comment that we found concerning was he now says he “knows how to play the game”.  When we talked to him about it, he explained that his teacher told him to “Just play the game, to say yes even if you don’t care because it is what the other person wants to hear”.  This concerns me greatly, I don’t want him just pretending to agree with someone if he disagrees.  I want him to be able to articulate how he is feeling and to negotiate.  Of course I know when there are times for a person, whether it is a child or a colleague or anyone else, to be able to recognise that there are times that they are required to just sit down, shut up and get on with the task at hand but that situation doesn’t call for someone just agreeing.  I want him to be passionate about the school work he is doing and want to do it not just serve platitudes and play the game.  I think it is showing him how he can be rude and cheeky at best but at worst being deceitful.  Moving on from this, then their is the school report that he sheepishly brought home last Friday.  Without him even seeing what was written inside he asked that I not get annoyed at him.  It was an indication of what he expected I would find inside.

2 years ago he was ahead of where he should be at school.  Even last year, the year from hell school-wise with so much time missing due to injury and illness then social isolation he was doing well in class.  He has always been lazy but the teacher was able to motivate him to actually produce good work and try in class.  This year, the telling sign is the scale recording his work habits, his effort in class and behaviour.  The scale begins at needs attention, then acceptable, very good and excellent.  He has gone from very good down to acceptable and judging from the comments associated with the report, he has just scraped in at acceptable.  Again I am thinking that if a child that demonstrates behaviour that is barely acceptable and is disruptive you would want to work with the parents and child to look at strategies that would help in the classroom.  Of course I am no teacher, it is just a suggestion.

The reports are written in 2 sections, the general section that has the classroom learning and then a section for specialist classes, physical education, art, drama and music.  Reading through his report you would think that the reports had been switched.  He was barely surviving in his regular classes.  He was disinterested and not very co-operative.  It was difficult to grade his writing ability because he rarely did any writing.  Then you look at his artistic based classes and in each discipline it showed that he was a positive contributor in class; he took part in discussions, was happy to write about his learnings and was a pleasure to have in the class.  If I didn’t know better I would think that the reports were mixed up but I know that he loves music, drama and art.  He is quite co-ordinated and is happy to play sport also so that made sense.  The specialist teachers have no trouble communicating with him and having him contribute in class so there is no need for them to want to discuss his behaviour.

In T-minus 2 1/2 hours we will be sitting in his three way conference.  I am feeling nervous already.  I want to be able to show my support for my boy whilst learning about what is not happening in class.  I don’t want to become argumentative, angry or upset.  I want to know what the school can do to support him and what his teachers think that we can do to support his learning at home and make his time at school more productive.  We are making an appointment to meet with a teacher from an alternative school to see if she can suggest ways to get him engaged in class.  Above all, I want to know if his behaviour is so disruptive, why haven’t we been asked to meet with the teachers before because at this stage it feels like he has wasted 6 months at school, causing trouble and losing confidence in his own abilities.

As I sit here typing away, he is happily doing his Information Report that he needs to bring with him to the conference.  I don’t know if he is late in returning it because our communication from home to school is also lacking, but that is another rant entirely.  He has worked solidly for the best part of three hours making sure that his Information Report is just right.  He didn’t want to break for something to eat because he was enjoying what he was doing.   He is almost finished and is already planning what to research for another Information Report.  Why isn’t this replicated in class when he is doing his ‘real’ school work?

I do acknowledge that I only have part of the information in this saga, and the information is being fed to me via a not-very-communicative 8 year old boy.  Hopefully in a few hours I will be better armed to know what is happening with his education and more importantly his happiness and confidence.

 

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