I was chatting with Miss Pop-Couture the other night and she asked about my plans for Valentines Day. Of course I couldn’t just say Valentines Day is a waste of time, I had to explain why the wasn’t important to me. I went with the ‘Why do I need to have a special day to tell the man I love that he is the man I love?‘ approach. Surely a spontaneous ‘I love you’ is better than following the conventions of society. That response didn’t seem to cut it, there had to be more to is. Surely in all my years I had to have shared the love and celebrated Valentines Day so I told her all about how I was scorned by Valentines Day. I told her that it isn’t a day of love, it is a day of remembering broken hearts and loneliness. I told her all about my first ‘love’.
I was merely 17. We met at the end of my final year of high school, in fact on the final day of school at an end of school party. He was an ‘older’ man, he had finished high school the year before and had spent the year working before making plans to go away to university.
Right from the start we knew it was going to be a short term relationship, I was planning on moving to Melbourne to study and he was applying for courses in Adelaide and Perth. We spent most of our waking moments together. Actually to be honest we spent almost every moment together for 3 months.
We had an amazing summer together; going to concerts, camping, staying at a friends house (Hi E!), swimming and generally living the life of kids young and in love, completely ignoring the fact that we would soon be living on opposite sides of the country. Before we knew it, the summer was over and our romance was drawing to an end.
I moved to Melbourne for school at the end of January and we spoke on the phone every day. I returned home, a trip that was 3 hours each way, the following week to spend some more time together and again the following weekend for a family event and also to spend a final few moments together on the most romantic day of the year, Valentines Day.
Our final weekend together was rushed and we didn’t have much time to be together. Just before I jumped onto the train to head back to school he handed me a card making me promise not to open it until I was on my way back to Melbourne. He gave me a final sweet kiss and the train departed. I looked back at the station until I could see him no longer, remembering all of the wonderful times we had in the three months we had known each other.
I couldn’t wait any longer I had to open the card, I had to see what beautiful, loving words he would write for me to remember him. Sweet nothings, all the gushy goodness that a 17 year old girl would want to have written to them, to treasure forever. To have an everlasting token of their love to tuck under the pillow every night before drifting off to sleep.
No doubt I was holding my breath as I opened the card to read those final sweet words GOOD BYE. That was it, that was the message that I had to wait to read. The message that I had to read when I was on my own, on my way to my new and lonely home and he was flying to the other side of the country was two cold sad lonely words – good bye!
Yeah yeah, I know, young love… I would get over him… he wasn’t really worth it… blah blah blah… All I remembered thinking was that he didn’t really love me, that it was all a big waste of time. I had given him my love, my first real(ish) love and all he had done was crush me.
Yes of course he was right, after all he was much more mature than I was, he was a worldly 18 year old! He knew that I would be upset at saying good bye so we avoided it, saying we would see each other again. Well it was good bye, and as it turns out, good bye forever, we haven’t seen each other since and as this all transpired in the dark ages, in the time before instant messaging and skype. I think every now and then about seeing if he is on Facebook, wondering where he is now and what he is doing but then I remember that it really doesn’t matter.
Weeks after the Crushing Valentines Day Incident, I met this tall dark and handsome guy that I just had to get to know better, even if he did go to a different university and have a girlfriend at the time! Well that was 18 years ago. Little more than 6 months after THAT fateful Valentines Day, I was dating that tall dark and handsome guy. Not long after that we were living together. Before we knew it we were married, had 2 amazing kids and an awesome life together. The rest they say is history!
Happy Valentines Day man-child, I do love you, every day not just token show-your-love days.