Today was a quiet day, almost a day of introspection. You see, today I turned 27 again, for the 11th time. Now if you are logical, you will think 27 plus 11 means I am 38 but in actual fact I decided I wanted to be 27 when I was 24 and then when I hit 27 I loved where I was and just kind of hovered there. So if that is all too confusing, if you really want to know how old I am, just ask girl-child and she will tell you, “my mum thinks she is 27 but really she is 34!” before she giggles and runs away.
So anyway, today is my birthday. I am not a big birthday kind of person, actually I need to rephrase that, I love birthdays as long as they aren’t mine. I don’t like being the centre of attention when I haven’t done anything to earn it other than simply existing. I am not the kind of person who runs around saying hey today is my birthday, let’s do something. I do however have a girl-child to do that for me.
I enjoyed quite a solitary day, by choice. I skipped work but I did go for coffee this morning and then out for lunch before school pick-up and the dance run this afternoon, but predominantly the day was pretty quiet and just what I needed. Actually to be honest, a day with more alone time with no obligations would be even better. More time to think, time to wander, time to be me without having to rush anywhere. That said, I did have time to be contemplative today. No new revelations were to be found however I think I am on the path to simpler living.
Everywhere I look I see people having a positive impact on their worlds and am left feeling inspired and I want to be a part of it. I want to have goals and aspirations. Something to fill my dreams, something to be passionate about. I haven’t contemplated enough to know the when or the how merely to know that change is in the future. I am thinking something along the line of the catch cry ‘quality instead of quantity’. There is so much happening in my/our lives that I want to simplify things. I don’t want my life filled with clutter and mess. I want to know that the things that are taking up space in my family, in my house, in my work and in my head is actually worthy of the space it is using. I want to be able to enjoy the things that are important – family, friends and community. Maybe that means shaking things up a little, who knows.
I guess I need to actually work out what I want to change and how I will go about it as well of course trying to manage the impact on my family. That may take some time, but at least it is something to work towards. For now I will do some research. What do I really want to be doing and where do I want to be doing it? Am I working where I should be working? Do I have a work/life balance that works for me and mine? What might my dreams be?
So that is where I am at, I am ready for change. I remember looking at the Stages of Change when dealing with addictive behaviours and I think they are relevant when looking at making life changes also. If I follow the Stages of Change, I am merely in the stage of contemplation and contemplating moving to the preparation/determination and have a long way to go.
The stages of change are:
- Precontemplation (Not yet acknowledging that there is a problem behavior that needs to be changed)
- Contemplation (Acknowledging that there is a problem but not yet ready or sure of wanting to make a change)
- Preparation/Determination (Getting ready to change)
- Action/Willpower (Changing behavior)
- Maintenance (Maintaining the behavior change) and
- Relapse (Returning to older behaviors and abandoning the new changes)
I am planning on skipping the Relapse phase (but doesn’t everyone).
So that is it, I am another day older and hopefully a touch wiser by being able to recognise that I am almost ready to change. Time to try and find some goals and dreams.