Stage Mum

05 Nov

Both of my kids dance and they absolutely love it.  Unfortunately just because they love dance doesn’t mean they are any good at it.  They aren’t totally appalling, just kind of ordinary, easily distracted and if the truth be told, lazy.  Once upon a time they were both kind of good, danced around the house all the time wearing dance clothes or costumes and were always perfectly groomed and adorable.  Now?  Not so much.  Boy-child generally complains if he has to change out of his school shirt unless even he can see that it is dirty.  Girl-child no longer wears perfectly co-ordinated outfits with matching ribbons in her braids or buns instead she favours  a multi-coloured, urchin effect that tonight included grey dance pants, a pink singlet, black warm up top and red skirt with very scuffed shoes and fuzzy ‘I’ve been running wild all day’ hair.  It is a great look for both of them.  Girl-child does a combo class of classical, jazz and tap whilst boy-child does tap.  He is waiting until his arm is stronger before he starts hip hop.  It is strong enough now but I am happy with only spending the one hour at the studio so I am not reminding me.  Whilst it is a beautiful studio, I really don’t want to spend hours there.  I enjoy my hour of peace and quiet where I can catch up with some reading, do some paperwork or on occasions chat with friends over a hot chocolate.

As I was sitting there this afternoon trying to catch up on some work I couldn’t help but overhear one mum screech at her child ‘to get back into class’ then turn to the other mum’s in her circle of stage mum friends, roll her eyes and comment that she didn’t spend an hour last night practicing with her child only for said child to go to the bathroom during class time and miss some important learning.  Oh lordy, you would think she was talking about the next Rudolf Nureyev and not a bratty little kid in the under 6 dance class!  She then continued to rattle off just how often she was at the studio with her children.  It got to 4 different classes over different nights before I got bored and tuned out.

When I next looked up she was then commenting on one of the teachers and how her child was being ignored in the class he was doing, that the teacher was spending too much time with the other students and not her child prodigy.  The other parents were nodding in agreement, I think merely in a way to make her shut the hell up and they could get back to their gossiping about how exclusive their clothes/shoes/handbags were.  Then at the end of the class the same stage mum cornered the poor teacher.  Fortunately at this time I had moved away and couldn’t hear the exchange but based on the body language it went something like

“Why isn’t my child, the prodigy of the dance world, front and centre for the performance?”  “My child is the best.”  “My child deserves to be a star!”

The teacher madly and frantically trying to find away out, looking for a way to escape, begging anyone to interrupt the barrage.  I don’t think he got a word in, or if he did it wasn’t heard.  Any money I end up stuck next to this stage mum at the end of year performance having to listen to her extol the virtues of her child prodigies.  I can’t wait!


Posted by on November 5, 2009 in the monsters


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3 responses to “Stage Mum

  1. lou

    November 5, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    Jeez, it wasn’t that woman with all those boys was it? Awful. Mari and I have pretty much kept to ourselves because, as you probably realised, WE are the cool ones with the prodigy kids. Goes without saying really.
    Anyway, both of mine announced last night that they didn’t want to go anymore. Will have to be content with lounge room legends from now on.

  2. Ali

    November 5, 2009 at 11:50 pm

    I am always surprised by the number of parents who are like this. I steer clear of most of my kids “associates” parents. Too exhausting.

  3. Shannon

    November 6, 2009 at 5:47 am

    Parents like that are…”special”…aren’t they? 🙂 I wish I had a good, smartass remark to give you for the stage mom. Maybe just stick your foot out and trip her, just for laughs? 🙂 Or AVOID AVOID AVOID!


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