This week I have broken most of my self imposed rules, one of which relates specifically to birthday celebrations. I ‘don’t do birthday parties‘ for the kids every year, instead the celebrator can take a friend and go to the movies and have a sleep over (hasn’t happened yet) or we have cake in the park with a few friends (generally 3 or 4) on the day and we always have a family and friends barbeque the following weekend. Now that seems like it should be simple right? Well when I found out that there were only 7 girls in girl-child’s class and she was inviting 4 of them to her ‘cake in the park shindig’ and then realised that another girl and her sister would just turn up and eat cake as she lives opposite the park there would only be 2 girls in her class that wouldn’t be invited. That was when I relented and allowed her to invite the 7 girls. Add on neighbours, walk-bys and siblings and all of a sudden the small gathering became a rather large gathering. It wasn’t too much of a hassle, in fact it was fun, however I did break my rules.
Then we get to the friends and family barbeque that kind of grew larger than expected. It started just as us, my parents, Lil Sis and Billy. Being a school girl now, girl-child doesn’t often get to see one of her oldest and best friend who goes to another school many suburbs away so we have to wait until weekend to catch up so of course we invited her and her family over. Surprising all of us was the other Grandma and Aunt who came to visit, something that happens very infrequently. Then of course what is a barbeque without neighbours so add a few more families to the ‘guest list’ and before we knew it the house was overflowing and a real celebration was in swing.
All the kids ate and then jumped in to the hot tub to splash away the afternoon until it was cake time.
So for someone who doesn’t do birthday parties I feel as if I have allowed girl-child to celebrate a little too much. Now ordinarily going over the top wouldn’t be such a bad thing normally but boy-child has missed out entirely. His birthday is in the week before the school year begins. He wanted to invite a friend over for a wii day and maybe a sleep over but this ‘friend’ would only come over if another boy would be there too – another boy that I really don’t like. Besides, what does it say if a kid will only come over if they can bring their own friend.
I had visions of boy-child being excluded and having a horrible day so we were able to convince him to postpone his celebration until school started back and he could invite new friends from his new class. Of course as wonderful as that sounded, he didn’t really settle in well. Before he had a chance to make any new friends he dislocated his elbow and broke his arm and became even more isolated. By the time he recovered it was the middle of Winter, 6 months after his birthday and man-child’s birthday. The following holidays the weather was better but he was back in hospital for more surgery so there wasn’t much point in having a party then either.
The poor boy did have a small family shindig but hasn’t celebrated his birthday with friends, he didn’t even complain when girl-child had a ‘real birthday party’. I feel so guilty about him missing out that I know that I will continue to break my party rules and he too will have a real birthday party next year.
All the motherguilt aside, the birthday celebrations were fun, the weekend was great and exhausting. Perhaps I need to review my set of rules, take a chill pill and just have fun.