I feel like I have been away from this space for eons when in fact it has been little more than a week. It is such a strange concept that I have really missed being here. Nothing major has happened, yet I have felt the urge to be here documenting exactly that – nothing. Well actually a lot has happened but I have been having too much fun living life to document it and haven’t had time to devote to the making to post.
That said I haven’t been here. I have been busy, working crazier hours than normal and I have barely had a second to check email and read blog posts let alone write them. It makes me wonder how other bloggers manage to work,write witty and insightful blog posts, raise children, make sure everyone eats well and stays safe and somehow still stay sane? Me, I feel like I can do one, maybe 2 of those of those tasks sometimes but barely. It is like we can eat healthy meals or have clean clothes but if you want both then I will have to forgo sleep or sanity, perhaps both.
Everywhere I look, the internet seems to be filled with posts about parenting with the current debate that seems to revolve around who has the hardest role – stay at home mums or working mums, whether they work in or out of the home, full or part time. These other bloggers can do a much more convincing job or selling their story or plight. For me, I know that I am a better parent when I am working. I enjoy going to work and escaping the insanity of home yet I look forward to getting home to the family to catch up with the daily happenings. My favourite time of day is walking home from work and school, hand in hand chatting away. My biggest trouble is trying to find the balance of work and home so that I can get everything done. At the moment I am not at work enough to get my job done properly so I end up doing extra hours or days, or even working from home at night. I don’t know the solution, but there are extra work hours on offer and I am debating over whether to take them or not.
I guess that right about now I am feeling a little disconnected. Work isn’t exactly fitting in as I has planned and there are major changes on the way, not only the hours of work but also the office location and to some extent the job description. As usual inter and inter-office politics are playing a big part in the my feeling of connectedness or lack thereof. The next few weeks should be ‘interesting’ if nothing else. Just to make it more challenging I have to juggle school holiday insanity!
The disconnectedness continues through other areas of my life, I just don’t have the literary ability to describe how or why at the moment. When I actually started to write this post, I had it all planned out in my head but I couldn’t actually remember the word disconnected, for some reason all that kept popping into my head was discombobulated and I really wasn’t sure why until I saw an online definition – dis·com·bob·u·lat·ed, dis·com·bob·u·lat·ing, dis·com·bob·u·lates, To throw into a state of confusion. Bemuse or bewilder. Then it all made sense – I am in a state of confusion, I am not actually in control of my life at the moment, everything I do revolves around or impacts on many other people and decisions are no longer easy to make. This post has wandered miles from where I imagined it heading, but the words have just tumbled out and I don’t even know if they make sense.
Discombobulation aside, I somehow made reference to the fact that I have been too busy, having too much fun living life to have time to blog and then instead of filling you in on what has been happening I wandered away, distracted. There are still stories that I want to tell but they deserve more than just an add-on to a blurting post. Now really doesn’t seem the time to now go back and tell all, hopefully I will be in a better headspace tomorrow (or some time soon) to fill in the gaps. If not, know that I can still be having fun even if I am discombobulated.