Brick Walls

18 Nov

I really couldn’t sleep last night.  I went to bed later than usual, after midnight thinking that I would have a solid 7 hours sleep before I had to get up.  It was a great plan, just a shame that it didn’t work.  I woke early, before the sun was up, just before 5.  I shut my eyes and imagined I was on holidays and tried to get back to sleep.  Do you think it worked?  Of course not.  I thought that perhaps I could play mahjong on my phone.  Despite loving playing the game, it normally sends me straight back to sleep.  It didn’t work.  

By then, the sun was rising and it was light enough to read, so I tried reading a few chapters.  Even that didn’t work.  Eventually I decided to get up and do something.  I ended up doing some washing and being domestic.  That made me tired enough to feel as if I was asleep on my feet.  Of course it was now time to get ready for work.

I guess my restlessness was a result of not wanting to go to work today.  I think that I was preempting the joy that would be my day.  I was eagerly anticipating another day in a classroom with no natural light and crappy air conditioning.  Clearly I was really looking forward to the day!  

What made the process even more pleasurable is being in a position were I am doing a job that I haven’t had adequate (or any) training, then 14 months later, being made do official training only to be told that everything that I have worked on for the last year isn’t what I should be doing.   AAAARRRGGGHHHH!  I feel like hitting my head against a wall!

After reading what  have written it really sounds like I hate my job.  In fact it is the total opposite.  I love what I do and I love the people that I work with.  I don’t think that I should have to justify my work to a group that don’t help the employees that it is chartered to train and support.  Thankfully there is only 3 more painful days left and then I will have ticked off this segment of delayed training and I can get back to the real world.  

I really don’t like feeling so bleh about work, it consumes so much energy.  I think that I will use my energy tomorrow to keep quiet and remember ‘Rah, you can do it!  Rah!  Rah!’ – the sounds of Kay cheering me on and dreams of sleeping in!

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Posted by on November 18, 2008 in and they call this work



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